Last year, a fellow named Rodell Vereen was placed on probation in Columbia, South Carolina, for the crime of buggery, which has nothing whatever to do with either a non-human life form or a horse-drawn carriage, even though it turns out to have something to do with each, if you follow.
If you follow, don’t follow too closely.
Rodell was busted for enjoying sexual congress with a horse named Sugar at the Lazy B Stables in Little River. His probation incuded an order that he stay away from the place.
But Rodell, it turns out, is a victim of the love that dareth not speak its name. He could not stay away from the only horse who has ever truly understood him.
Recently, Sugar’s owner, Barbara Kenley, noticed that “Sugar was acting strange and getting infections...” She also noticed that things had been moved around inside the barn, including bales of hay stacked near the horse’s stall. She began hanging around the stables but didn’t learn anything. So she installed surveillance cameras.
When she saw Rodell and Sugar horsing around, she didn’t call the cops. She was certain he’d return and, for reasons best left to your fertile imagination, she wanted to, uh, catch him in the act.
Rodell is in custody, following a footrace between Vereen and Kenley, which Kenley won. He is looking at five years in the slammer this time.
I offer this bit of human interest as a public service to those among us tempted to see ourselves as crazy. We aren’t even close.
Have a nice weekend.
