God enjoys a good laugh.
How else to explain the Deity's recommendation to Michelle Bachmann that she run for President?
Plus, as you may recall, God has issued similar instructions to Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin. If this keeps up, next yearís candidatesí debates are going to look like The Anglo Comedy Tour. Speaking of which: Rick Santorum.
Itís so hard to choose a favorite. Sentimentally, Iím a Palin fan. Who can forget her dramatic description of Russia ďrearing its headĒ outside her living room window? Or her cross-country clothing spree on the McCain dime? Or her incitations to riot? Her winking?
Last week, Sarah showed her mastery of American history by recounting Paul Revereís midnight ride warning the British that the colonists were coming. Later on, she clarified her statement for F*X News and noted that if it hadnít been for Revere, we would all be speaking British.
One after another, these guys roll out of the clown car in the center ring, espousing the economic theories of Al Capp and reciting patriotic verse in the original muskrat.
Meanwhile, the mass media, lubed up with petroleum jelly and engorged on petrodollars, broadcast simulated war news and the latest sex scandals, and those not swept away to the Promised Land in the golden chariots of various preachers nervously check their empty bank accounts and await Armageddon.
The sale of alcohol and firearms has reached an all-time high. Members of Congress are sending photos of their genitals to total strangers.
This is the state of the nation, 2011.
Itís got to be God. What else could account for it? No amount of drugs could have done this, although, admittedly, theyíve been a big help. Look what they did for Rush Limbaugh. What else could suck the brains out of an entire population, deface its founding documents, and bury its own past? What else than an Omnipotent Force could have induced millions to watch ĎAmerican Idolí?
Who other than God could have invented Coors beer, McDonaldís hamburgers, Muzak, the Progressive Insurance commercials, chia pets, the Hummer, and Donald Trumpís hair? Humans are simply not that funny, not without divine assistance.
Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Mitt Romney, The Newt, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. I think youíve got to agree with me on this. The lidís off completely. God must be laughing His/Her ass off.