Got another letter from my friend, Barack Obama. He’s been writing more often lately, I guess because he’s got the time. For a while, he was too busy working hard to bring about the great changes he promised us, the kind we could believe in, but he’s never forgotten the folks who elected him.
It’s a short letter. Just to remind me of the challenges we face together as we walk hand-in-hand into the future. Just to say... well, hey, I’ll let him tell it:
“As we count down to another critical fundraising deadline for this campaign, it's important to remember this:
“We always knew this election would be about two competing economic plans -- whether we get to build on our progress or see it taken away.
“But we had no idea we'd also be up against a social agenda that would roll back decades of progress, particularly for women's health.
“That means the consequences of this election will be felt in more ways than we'd counted on -- and what you do this week will help decide what they are.”
Pretty powerful stuff, those two competing economic plans. And what if we can’t build on our progress? What if we find it taken away? I don’t even want to think about it, the very idea that the President’s grand vision, the plan he’s been implementing, could somehow be derailed. I mean, even though unemployment is still at depression levels and the gap between rich and poor is wider than at any time in history, the stock market is nearly completely recovered, and that’s the really important thing.
And then on top of that, the social agenda! Good gravy, I never imagined. Well, why would I? The President himself had no idea, and he’s such a smart man. Imagine him being taken by surprise. Nefarious Republicans, can’t trust ‘em for a second.
So the ‘consequences of this election’ will be ‘felt in more ways than we’d counted on ––’. Ain’t that the truth? I remember the last one, the consequences that have been felt in many more ways than I’d counted on, that’s for sure.
About those ‘competing’ plans, though. I’m still a bit confused. My friend Barack’s was to give the banks a trillion more dollars, and then after they’d all done the right thing with the money there would be jobs, but it turns out they used the money on bonuses and to consolidate monopoly control. The Republican plan is pretty much the same except they want to screw the poor a little more along the way.
But now with the Republicans introducing bills to outlaw being female, we’ve got a real difference between the two sides.
They agree on all the killing and blowing up and invading other countries, and hanging Bradley Manning for spilling the beans, but the G.O.P. wants to outlaw birth control and make abortion harder to get, or vice versa.
They agree on further enriching the insurance industry and on more oil drilling, and money for nuclear power plants, and letting Monsanto do whatever it wants with the food supply, and torturing ‘terrorists’, and getting rid of the First, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Amendments to the Constitution, but the G.O.P. thinks women who use the pill are sluts.
They agree on subsidies for factory farms, NAFTA and the exportation of jobs, slashing Social Security and Medicare, digging a trench for the Keystone oil project, and killing American citizens if the President wants to, but the G.O.P. wants to stick probes into women’s vaginas.
It’s not that I don’t believe him about the Republicans and their social agenda. If it weren’t for the fact that none of those birdbrain ideas is going to get more than about 30% in any national poll, that any attempt to reverse Roe v. Wade outside of the court is fatuous and that no Supreme Court will do it because they aren’t going to invite that kind of shit storm, and if it weren’t for the fact that any candidate or party who tries to curtail birth control is going to get retired prematurely, I’d worry. Hell, if it was up some of those people, slavery would be made legal again. But those things ain’t gonna happen. That ship has left the dock.
Hell of an election, the mafia versus the Taliban. Not quite Giants and Dodgers, know what I mean?
The real reason for my friend’s letter is money. He wants me to send him $3.00.
I’d like to help, I really would. It troubles me that Barack, after all that work, is so hard up. It's just that my checking account balance is kind of low. I think I can handle my bills for next month but it’s pretty close and I’d better hang onto the three dollars for the time being.
I got to tell you, though, I’m a little surprised. I know times are tough, but if Barack is scrambling for three bucks each from his old friends, things must be worse than I thought. I guess the check from Goldman Sachs hasn’t cleared yet.